The Curse of Rha-kan'Ocka »» Character profiles



The Curse of Rha-kan'Ocka: Character Profiles from A to Z

Here you can find brief character descriptions of the folks in bigger and punier roles. The list grows along the writing process.
Yes, we're a weird bunch over here. Like the great intergalactic philosopher Bloing-Tze Dojoing says: "Make sense only when it's absolutely necessary. And even then use it modestly."



Bee
One of the archeologist expedition ship's workers: an intelligent little blob concealed inside a metallic exoskeleton. Sarcastic but helpful, he mostly aids the mechanic with the endless workload the old rusting wreck of a ship provides. His real name in Blihvarian Blobspeak rings Bebyyyyybobliibol-lililililillilaaalalooblummbalooblub-taaputataaputatipitapitaa- plommonplogg-blullumbaluubabaaaaalililoobeba-blyi pi^0 (note the importance of articulating this all with a wet sort of accent, and the explicitly toned exponent of pi in the end), but by obvious reasons people call him merely 'Bee'.
The Captain
The ship's captain represents another one of those intergalactic blob races that have deduced 'Cogito, ergo sum.' Vastly more bigger and more ferocious-looking than Bee, his looks however give out a severerly false image. He'd rather spend his life as a silent philosopher by reflecting the culinary fancies of oyster paste.
The Cook
The ship's cook is a two-headed purple something that looks like a cross between a kangaroo and pygmy elephant (Whatever that is then supposed to tell us. The combinations of how you can arrange all these body parts in different... er... shapes, have an asymptotic upper bound in the infinity.). There are various opinions about the quality of the nosh he prepares. Moody and loud, his diversely opinionated heads often bicker with one another.
Dt'haigharav
One of Khran's soldiers; has a strong fondness for mead.
Enkev, Hiid
Mechanic aboard the archeologist expedition ship; a short, skinny (originally, anyway), red-haired human girl. She is rather clumsy and a magnet for accidents, even though she means to do her best. After a blunder with a cross-dimensional gate there hardly seems to be a return to home sweet home. Trapped into a weird, dark realm where rationality seems to be a mere travesty of a bad joke, she has to learn to cope with her poor self-confidence and coordination. Since those aspects may play a major role in sorting out some nasty, archaic problems (and a bit newer too)...
Enkev, Tuon
Hiid's older sister, and also the complete opposite in every aspect. Started using glittering four-inch heels in her late teens. Had apparantly been a vagrant bar singer around the times last seen by Hiid.
Ghaagh'urih
A warrior in Khran's army. Later becomes one of his most trusted men.
Gha'enbesch
A captain G'Uhageid's rebel forces.
daik'schepp Gha'ugonak, Y'Jhaidr
An old, snappy sorceror who taught G'Uhageid alchemy and wizarding. Currently employed as one of the rebellion's main spellcasters. Has so much the bearing of a stereotypical fantasy literature wizard, that Hiid has trouble holding back giggles whenever she passes by him.
King Gha'ugomhiel, Ghorschkg-Perghk'el (the Bane)
daik'schepp Ghatd-Enjkg'orv
An old wizard in G'Uhageid's council of mages.
Gheldahsch'ugh-Ach (Gheldah)
Ghirn's younger half-sister, and nearly the perfect opposite of her. She is a plump, bespectacled, geeky herbalist who is interested in just about anything and everything, and will lecture you dizzy over the characteristics of a zillion plants and bugs if you aren't careful. She has the tendency to chase everything that moves with a magnifying glass. Possesses also some talent in magic.
Ghodigh'irm (Ghodi)
The matron of the Khran household and mother to Khran-Av'ees. She is a formidable lady both height- and widthwise. Futile whining is rapidly suffused when her mighty rolling pin speaketh. She keeps her household in an austere grip, and has managed to teach Khran-Av'ees a few important matters of courtesy despite his dark yearning for power.
dathoh Ghomegh'alo
An ancient, almost blind shaman living in Rha-g'Guh of Rha-kan'Ocka. He is a tremendously talented masterer of obscure legends and wizardry. He is also one of the few who have still beholden the Great Light before the Dusk fell.
Gho-Ni'ngobsch
A gray-haired, somewhat stooping veteran in Khran-Av'ees's inner circle.
G'Uhageid, Aaschgh'rd
One of Guarh's oldest sons alive, around 14000. Broody and irascible, shorter than most of his brothers. A highly skilled wizard.
G'Uhageid, Aatd'osch
Guarh's oldest son alive; a wizard.
G'Uhageid, Ahgtd'isch-Aarghelaichnj (Ahgtd'i)
G'Uhageid, Ghgalev'jenschus (Ghgalev)
Guarh's son, around 10500, wizard.
Lady G'Uhageid, Ghirn'ubim-Ach (Ghirn)
Wife to Guarh, a dumpy, gray-haired old lady. Fusses a lot, somewhat tyrannizes her legion of descendants in several generations, and cooks granite-heavy nosh till obsessive measures, but still has a gentle and caring nature.
G'Uhageid, G'Hloki
Guarh's grandson in the nth generation, a wizard. Twin to Hfreyr.
G'Uhageid, Ghodjal
Guarh's grandfather.
G'Uhageid, Ghoschkg'el-Och (Ghoschkg)
G'Uhageid, Greidr
One of Guarh's umpteen grandchildren again. Very pompous about trying to be a kick-keister femmewarrior. Muscular, snobbish, and somewhat dim-witted.
Lord/King ikgh-u'ayjoch G'Uhageid, Guarh-Schul'ochlhemp (Guarh)
The leader of the rebellion group that fights against Lord Khran-Av'ees's dictatorship. 35000 years old, he sports several missing teeth, thick and long white hair on a ponytail, and a blind eye behind a ragged eyepatch. He is tattooed from head to toe rather colorfully, and should probably carry a 'parental advisory' sign whenever he takes his shirt off. Even so, he is a highly learned man, and a skilled wizard. His refined nature however often becomes heavily watered down due to his tendency to off-color humor and bawdy pranks.
Before he married Ghirn, he spent his days as a common highwayman and vagrant warrior. Along with this, he used to be the worst kind of lady-seducer imaginable, and egoistic beyond limits. The aging flattened the vainness somewhat, but he still can sometimes come off as a total Narcissus.
G'Uhageid, Hfreyr
Guarh's grandson in the nth generation, a wizard. Twin to G'Hloki.
King G'Uhageid, Lhietd-Lhem'meeschz (Lhiekghi'oichnj, Lhietd the Lustful, etc.)
Guarh's forefather, over 8ft tall, ruled Rha-kan'Ocka as a mighty wizard king long ere the Dusk. Although wise and an a lover of higher arts, he was known as the worst kind of Don Juan in generations. Thus he spawned proverbs and whole lakefuls of R-rated bar songs with his lewd behavior.
He founded several academic institutions and libraries around the land, among which were the famous collections of Rha-ghi'Leh. He also wrote quite a few manuscripts and scrolls himself, which were usually highly unsuitable for younger readers.
G'Uhageid, Lhigom'argkh
Guarh's father.
gharajmahtd G'Uhageid, Lhoschkg
One of the elderday judges who perished in the hands of the treacherous highlords.
G'Uhageid, Miimrgh'mid-Gaagh'rd (Miimrgh)
Guarh's son.
G'Uhageid, Pharsch-ach'Ghaal
Guarh's grand-grandfather.
King G'Uhageid, Rha-ntdm'Hyrschk the Wise
The first of the G'Uhageids in the ascending line. No need to make special notes about his dominating tendencies.
G'Uhageid, Thurgh'ischaaz (Thurgh'i)
Guarh's son, works mostly as a spy. Circa 10000 years old.
daik'schepp G'Uhageid, Vanhvha'gah Vhai'noch
King Lhietd's brother, a powerful wizard.
King G'Uhageid, Ygh'mir Ikgh-u'Thurgh'ischaaz the Tall
Father to King Lhietd. Received his byname for being almost nine feet tall.
Hgyy'bbah
Also one of Khran's soldiers.
Mr. Iiivr, Vfii
The president of the Interstellar Convention of Iota Sphere.
Jghuur-Ak'gg, Jghuur-i'Ghome
Brothers that worked in Khran-Av'ees's inner circle for a while. Beheaded by him.
Kho'rbmhiel
Khran-Av'ees's usual decoy in the capital.
Khran-Achk'iinech the Grindcrusher
The father of Khran-Ddu'h.
Khran-At'ih
Brother to Khran-Av'ees.
Lord Khran-Av'ees (Khran)
Eccentric warlord risen from the dingy backland bushes of Schonda'Rha-baggoh. He is the current Dark Lord of Rha-kan'Ocka, ruling all the land from the crumpling capital Rha-ghi'Leh. Currently he is 17000 years old.
Nearly eight feet tall, scarred and battle-hardened, with knee-length dreadlocks that would make a net of tangled wire turn green with envy, he may have the distinct aura of a dimwitted barbarian. He also wears a half-mask that disguises a grisly disfigurement on the left side of his face. But there is a sharp and calculating mind underneath, that takes the whole evil overlord business seriously. He has even taken initiative to learn the elaborate and obsolete style of speaking that every Dark Lord ought to master, by tediously studying dictionaries and encyclopaedias.
Aside from some of his ridiculous quirks like keeping secret pet plants and practicing the length of a perfect evil laughter with a timer, Khran has quite a few serious skeletons in the closet. And often he feels that life could be spent into something better than ruling a barren wasteland where dawn never comes...
Khran-Av'uotdaacgh
Khran-Ddu'h's forefather; by hearsay introduced the blood of northlanders into the family.
Khran-Ddu'h
The head of the Khran family, a frightening warrior who has the title 'Skullhammer' added to his name. However, in the presence of his severe wife this seven-foot-tall barbarian turns into a mere squeaky plushie. Nobody argues against Ghodigh'irm, not even mountain-sized warheroes.
Khran-Mb'bih
Another brother to Khran-Av'ees.
Miss Laedga, Garbas
The discoverer or superfluospace, the hyperdimension where one can travel faster than lightspeed. Unexpected things truly can happen when you test an easy-bake muffin oven equipped with an alternative energy resource.
Lghoughees
A witch in G'Uhageid's troops. Slain by Khran-Av'ees.
Lhov'yghiatdhar
A formidably skilled witch in G'Uhageid's wizard troops. Sister to Lghoughees.
Lirbutiliiyui
The former ruler of Rha-ghi'Leh. Slain by Khran-Av'ees.
Lombers
Little purple hemiplants that look a tad like narcissi walking on their roots. Excellent survivors in rough conditions, even in cross-dimensional ones. Curious and friendly, they may even purr if you stroke their head petals.
Mrs. Mhesch
A fussy, worrying woman in whose household Hiid lodges for a while in Uhageiden Rho-dkhl'haakgz.
Miss Nyrpis, Nrm
One of the more important persons in the archeologist crew, and the representative of the cryptopaleontology department. Of human race. Very strict about hygiene.
Prtti
One of the mountain-sized custodians aboard the archeologist expedition ship. His only verbal expression, 'hrrump', appears to conceal an universal meaning about everything into itself.
Mr. Pw-Oskr, Tlrew
The medic of the archeologist expedition team. He is overworked and chronically fatigued, and does not particularly enjoy Mr. Rmy's ridiculously strict mini-tyranny. Of human race.
Qwertyui
The amanuensis of Khran. Has a stringy, ferrety look about him.
Rhi-Szau'bisch
One of Khran's cronies.
Mr. Rmy, Yrgy
Head of the archeologist expedition team. He is a great believer in rules and strict organizing. The mere idea of one's socks not being ironed and lying in an even pile with a color-coded nametag on it, makes his moustache bristle ominously. Of human race.
Schul'ochmhahl
A seductress from Rha-ghi'Leh.
Mr. Tu-Ssari, Zvak
A member of the archeologist crew. Parades on being an expert in ancient warcraft.
zinigh'aldjaatd
'Blue-skinned wielders of magic'; how the Rha-kan'Ockian elves name themselves.
Miss Z'Onih, kxyh
Hiid's cousin.

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Named characters from the Rha-kan'Ockian real-mythology

Heavenlords and -ladies
-Bhy'yryutdhar
-Dthg'aar
-Ghu'ibpanach
-Ghu-nochtd'har
-Lghouz'schaschuolz
-Ugojh'umal
-Yl-maargh'Inegn
-Yl-maaghtd'har
Netherworld lords, ladies, and imps
-Ghi'izsch
-Ghi-vuchtd'har
-Ightd'rhi-Eckghoch
-Tghuonegh'err
-Tghuonegh'urtd
-Tghuonetd'har
Water beings
-Ahgtdoch'gruhtin
-Ikh'uturgh-zosch
-Vhe-dt'echinech